A video, a journal entry...
"I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your straight blind eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere..."
- Iron and Wine
Why do i always try to fly away from you?
You tell me i don't need to run off so fast as i tumble out of your bed and pull my shoes on this morning, and i realize i'm doing it again.
The music you played for me last night is running through me still, and the sodium-light glow coming in through the window falling across your long, blond hair as i try not to look at your mouth while we sit, limbs tangled and shoulders pressed together on the couch - you looking at me in that way that makes me feel like an awkward 13-year old girl...
We've been here before. So many years ago and it's as though nothing has changed; maybe you're older now, and mellower. And i thought i was past all this.
But i'm still as afraid of how i feel around you as i was then. My tongue tangles and i feel like i can't breathe - like i've stood up too quickly on a speeding boat, you're like the wind that rushes so fast into me that i can't breathe.
And just like no time has passed at all, we lay down together to sleep - just sleep, because i can't bring myself to kiss you, even; but your arm goes around my waist, your breath on my shoulder and your softly scratchy beard, and my thoughts scatter like marbles across a polished floor...
And all i can hear is my own heart beating and the sound of your sleep...
♥
