I'm happy today, but it isn't my fault. It's Amy's.
Amy is this girl at work that never stops being happy. Ever. And I don't trust her. It's nothing personal, she's a great kid if you can get over the annoying general friendliness.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an unhappy guy, but I can only be happy in spades. When I wake up in the morning to go to work my first immediate thought isn't BUTTERFLIES and RAINBOWS and whatever else runs through the incessently happy mind. Usually it's FUCK! IT'S 6:30 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING ALREADY?
And then I build from there.
The problem with the Amy's of the world isn't really that they're happy, it's that they want you to join their Cult Of Happiness. They're always telling you to smile, or saying things like, "It can't really be all that bad can it?" You see, they're getting members for the Cult! Instead of just being happy themselves, they must spread the disease. I really think the Cult must be losing members, because Amy won't shut the hell up. She used to only be friendly in the ass crack dawn of 6:30 in the morning. Now it's every second. But I think their powers are peaked when I'm at my least effective to fight them.
At 6:30 in the morning the Amy's are always talking at me in capitol letters:
GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE! IT'S A GREAT DAY TODAY ISN'T IT? THAT SUNSHINE! MMM! MMM! IT'S GREAT TO BE ALIVE!
Meanwhile, the sunshine is hurting my sleep deprived eyes, the day isn't so great yet (hell, it hasn't even started!) and why the fuck are you talking so loudly so early in the morning?
Happiness isn't an on/off switch that can be flipped, its a frame of mind that needs to be nourished. I never needed a Cult's imput on that.
Unfortunately today was when Amy got me. She converted my sour, grumpy demeanor, stuck a Hello! My Name is:____ card on my lapel, and that was when I joined the Cult of Happiness.
They play ABBA 24/7.
- @