Ethereal
I have had certain thoughts on my mind as a result of glancing at other people’s entries (over the course of several weeks), and with those thoughts, they are coupled with a few book purchases that I made at the beginning of this year. I notice a lot of self-deprecation, a lot of worry and concerns that I think may be ill placed. It is a natural tendency to worry about what other people think of you, it is a natural tendency to want to be accepted for who you are… even if it’s among a community of strangers who are only familiar with yourself through the written word.
The definition, the idea of art, is broad for myself. Art, to me, encompasses everything from writing to the act of applying a paintbrush to paper to snapping a random picture outside the bedroom window. This view of art surrounds us, coats us with it’s simplicity even when we are unaware of it. As such, this idea of art should come from within yourself, it should radiate from your inner core and be a reflection of your person.
You should not do art that is a reflection of what you think other people want to see - expect. You should not do anything that you think other people want to see - expect.
The first book that I have been studying is about writing and how to bring the writer out from within (Notebook Know-How). While it is mainly aimed at teachers who teach K-12, her thoughts, strategies, and methods can easily be used by anyone. Buckner points out something that is important - an entry in any style of notebook does not have to be perfect. To merely write is exercising the will to be a writer even if you do not consider yourself a writer. More importantly, to write for yourself brings out the true person than to write what you think other people want to read. Writers don’t become writers because they write for public approval, they write because they have something to say, to share, to express. In a writer’s notebook, there will always be a mix of good deep thoughts and those thoughts that are seemingly shallow. I never really thought about it, but I definitely would consider Ethereal my notebook, my reflection of those thoughts that are both shallow and deep. I do not write for approval from others. I do not write so I can get more comments or page views. I have always tried to write for me, so that I don’t lose the desire to write. So that I do not lose how important and beautiful certain words can appear to me on the screen (or on paper). I want to capture the random, intriguing, mundane thoughts that float through my head at any given moment of any given day for me and only me. The fact that I share those thoughts to a strange public audience like the www is just an amusing perk. If I make friends/acquaintences from sharing my random thoughts, that’s just a bonus.
The second book that I have been studying deals with the act of creating art through painting (The Creative Edge). I have fallen in love with Beam and her views on the artist. She says, like the previous author, to do what makes you happy and not what makes others happy. She doesn’t believe in critiquing as a result because critiquing, along with worrying what others think, can box you in and keep you from searching within yourself for the true meaning of whatever you are trying to create. This is one of the reasons I choose not to participate in the critiquing on DA for subscribers. I’m just not interested in being told I’m not doing something “right.” For me, there is no right or wrong, there just “is”. Perfection, generally, is in the eye of the beholder. If I were to strive to always and forever be perfect, I would never be able to find my center of happiness. Realize, it has taken me a long, long time to accept this thought. As a child, I was taught that perfection was the only standard to measure myself against. That I had to be the perfect role model, the perfect student, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, the perfect future leader.
Heaven forbid that I should ever fall below the standard of perfection.
I actually smile at this reflection. I see where I was 10+ years ago and I see where I am now as an adult. I believe anyone is capable of similar reflections. I believe anyone and everyone has some artistic muse inside. If you ever find yourself judging yourself, remember to always judge yourself by where you were to where you are now. Never create your self image based on the judgments or impressions from others. To sound cliche, be yourself - accept yourself. You are all you have when it comes to being you.