14:12 - September 2, 2010

My brain is a mess. Even when I am happy and productive, I constantly forget things. I’ve been like this at least since I was around ten or so. I can’t remember much earlier than that unfortunately. My brain is only good for remembering certain types of things. I think I’m a bright student. I can remember things I learn in class without studying much. What keeps me from being a good student is that I forget I have homework; I forget to bring it to class with me; I forget to bring other materials to class with me; I am late to class because I forget things and have to go back and get them; etc. (Also I procrastinate like a pro.)

Just certain things fail to leave a deep enough impression on my mind. People’s names, for instance. I’m introduced to someone. It lasts a second. The conversation moves on. Before I think to quiz myself on their name, it’s already gone. It’s not that I’m not happy to meet them. I just don’t have a chance. It’s not in writing and I can’t refer back to it (like I can with people I meet online). Names are just a way for other people to code you anyway, it’s not who you really are. Apart from the name, there is really no characteristic that pervades all of the other Jamies I know. Most are girls maybe, but two have been guys. They’re all different ages, they all have different interests, and not all of them have been pleasant. Names are the word for, say, a specific face and the associations connected with it. But I could call myself Dorothy to some people and it could serve the same purpose - to be a word for a face+association. And it would also confuse rumors.

This wasn’t supposed to be a rant on identity. I was going to list what I need to do today, to help impress it in my mind.

1. Print out new music pieces.
2. ORDER MUSIC BOOKS
3. Purchase textbooks.
4. Work on the musical.

… I think there was more, but I forgot what it was while I was writing this entry.

ETA:

5. Go to the music library to make copies of the Brahms piece and the Copland.
6. While there, take out CDs. (This is a good, free way to make my music collection grow.)

moo.