3/3/2010 11:05:00 AM
It's only me
I did something this past weekend. It wasn't big by most peoples' standards, but for me, personally, it was semi-major.
It started when I was at the store. I was just looking around, browsing, people say, but I never actually do, so, I was just looking. A lady came up to me and complimented my hair. I know how to take a compliment, I have manners, I smiled politely and said "thank you." As far as talking to complete strangers goes, that's usually about as far as I can comfortably take things. She then complimented my hair two more times, I sort of dorked out and said something nonsensical, then I turned my attention back to what I was looking at before she said anything. She turned around and walked away.
At first I was a little embarrassed that I didn't have anything better to say. But then I decided--fuck it, she complimented me too many times, it made me uncomfortable, it would make most people uncomfortable, I hardly ever come in this store and I don't care if she thinks I'm weird, she doesn't know me. Normally, I could spend the rest of the day, shit, maybe the rest of the week obsessing over that one small interaction.
I'm not good with small talk, I never know what to say. I decided at that moment that the next time somebody in a store spoke to me, I was going to speak back to them and not get dumbstruck.
The next day, I was at another store and I didn't need help, but I accepted some anyway and I talked a little to the girl and she said something about my hair and since I already thought up a response to that comment (the day before...after I already said something lame to the other girl), there was no awkwardness or uncomfortable silence to unnerve me.
That was it.
All there was to it.
It was easy.
Didn't hurt at all.
Haven't you figured out yet that the universe doesn't like me?
As it happened, just before we came into this particular store, we were at the store next door. And while we were at the store next door, my eyes and my nose started to itch, maddeningly so (I had thought I should take some allergy pills that morning because I woke up itchy, but I figured I would be fine once I got out of the house). The itching made my nose start to run a little bit, just enough so I could feel it, but not enough to blow. I took my tissue out of my pocket and wiped my nose just as a precaution.
Back at the second store, after I finished talking to the girl, walking down another aisle, I turned and started talking to my daughter. A moment later, my daughter kindly informed me that...I...had...a booger...in my nose. I got rid of it quickly with my tissue and looked in the nearby mirror to make sure my daughter wasn't mistaken or otherwise just saying that it was gone.
It was kind of mortifying. There I was trying to be all brave and confident like and the universe makes me taller than people and gives me boogies. Very funny.
Somehow though, I pushed my embarrassment aside, accepted feeling mild discomfort instead, laughed at myself, and figured that chick will never remember me, and once I left the store I wouldn't care anymore...
And I don't...well, maybe I do, a little.
Anyway, I feel good about myself for trying something that makes me uncomfortable even if I fumbled the first time and had a situation the second time, and I might even do it again.
So, ha, universe, take that.
It started when I was at the store. I was just looking around, browsing, people say, but I never actually do, so, I was just looking. A lady came up to me and complimented my hair. I know how to take a compliment, I have manners, I smiled politely and said "thank you." As far as talking to complete strangers goes, that's usually about as far as I can comfortably take things. She then complimented my hair two more times, I sort of dorked out and said something nonsensical, then I turned my attention back to what I was looking at before she said anything. She turned around and walked away.
At first I was a little embarrassed that I didn't have anything better to say. But then I decided--fuck it, she complimented me too many times, it made me uncomfortable, it would make most people uncomfortable, I hardly ever come in this store and I don't care if she thinks I'm weird, she doesn't know me. Normally, I could spend the rest of the day, shit, maybe the rest of the week obsessing over that one small interaction.
I'm not good with small talk, I never know what to say. I decided at that moment that the next time somebody in a store spoke to me, I was going to speak back to them and not get dumbstruck.
The next day, I was at another store and I didn't need help, but I accepted some anyway and I talked a little to the girl and she said something about my hair and since I already thought up a response to that comment (the day before...after I already said something lame to the other girl), there was no awkwardness or uncomfortable silence to unnerve me.
That was it.
All there was to it.
It was easy.
Didn't hurt at all.
Haven't you figured out yet that the universe doesn't like me?
As it happened, just before we came into this particular store, we were at the store next door. And while we were at the store next door, my eyes and my nose started to itch, maddeningly so (I had thought I should take some allergy pills that morning because I woke up itchy, but I figured I would be fine once I got out of the house). The itching made my nose start to run a little bit, just enough so I could feel it, but not enough to blow. I took my tissue out of my pocket and wiped my nose just as a precaution.
Back at the second store, after I finished talking to the girl, walking down another aisle, I turned and started talking to my daughter. A moment later, my daughter kindly informed me that...I...had...a booger...in my nose. I got rid of it quickly with my tissue and looked in the nearby mirror to make sure my daughter wasn't mistaken or otherwise just saying that it was gone.
It was kind of mortifying. There I was trying to be all brave and confident like and the universe makes me taller than people and gives me boogies. Very funny.
Somehow though, I pushed my embarrassment aside, accepted feeling mild discomfort instead, laughed at myself, and figured that chick will never remember me, and once I left the store I wouldn't care anymore...
And I don't...well, maybe I do, a little.
Anyway, I feel good about myself for trying something that makes me uncomfortable even if I fumbled the first time and had a situation the second time, and I might even do it again.
So, ha, universe, take that.