He is depressed today, and I don’t know how to help him. He feels that he gets no time to live life, and I agree with him. All I want to do is to hold him and make him feel better, feel loved. A big part of me feels guilty for having fun without him. For experiencing the fullness of life while he is left behind. He is stressed all the time and I feel guilty for not shouldering some of that weight. The weight which is half mine. He feels boring and old, and at 24 that is definitely not the way he should feel.

I keep waiting for our life together to start back up, and since then I have started my own. I want to share it with him but I don’t know if he likes where my life is going. I think he is worried that I am pulling away from him and he will lose everything he holds dear in his life.

I don’t know how to convince him that he will never lose me. We’ve been through it before and it tore me up inside.

I try to make him happier with ideas for this summer, fun things we could do in our rare spare time, and I think this helps him. I think it helps him to know that I want to include him in my growing social life. I don’t think he realizes that I truly mean it when I tell him he’s my favorite person in the entire world. If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t have kept him around so long.

I just hope I made him feel better.