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I just realised that I forgot to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas :) Eh don't say I'm too late. There are 12 days of Christmas!

Met Brendan for lunch yesterday, thanks for the company! Lol what a merry Christmas indeed huh. But I'm glad everything turned out okay in the end. And ahh my parents cheated my feelings! I promised to be home for dinner because I thought my mum was going to cook turkey but in the end she didn't. :( She said she needs at least two days' notice that the whole family will be home so that she can thaw the turkey.

But I got a good bargain at Robinson's after dinner! Found this pair of shoes that was originally $99.90 but after member's discount (thanks to my mum) and my voucher and some member's $5 voucher... It came down to $26.93! <3

My urticaria (or more commonly known as hives) acted up again today. It was horrible because it was just as itchy as the first day some time ago. And urgh it's just horrible cos you have to control the scratching while it itches everywhere. And I thought the outbreak had stopped. Must be back because the steroids are lowering in dosage. Doctor's instructions. Sigh. Now I don't regret starting on the steroids anymore. Because the outbreak could happen again any of these days.

Passport collection today. Yup I finally renewed my passport. I think it's very convenient these days. Can just do everything (apart from the actual collection) online. Which is what I did. At the same time, it becomes a lot more uncertain, especially when your browser turns wonky. Which is what happened to me. The payment went through and I got the online receipt, but something was wrong with the browser so I never got a confirmation that my renewal had been submitted. Thankfully they emailed and snail-mailed me the confirmation.

After that, watched Twilight. I think Edward is so sweet! Love the story, although it's kind of impossible. I like the way he loved her so much that every fibre of his being longed for her blood, yet he fought the desire because he wanted to protect her. He wasn't selfish and didn't want her to turn into one of his kind. I think it really illustrates how love can create desire but can also help one fight desire in the best interests of the other party. Which I think is deep and very beautiful. :) And which is true love. Do I sound really idealistic? Don't blame me, all girls fantasise about perfect love.

But I think some guys can be really horrible creatures. SH told me about guys who make their way to Geylang on nights out for a "quick fix". Which I think is just sick and lowly. Never mind the prostitutes; it doesn't even show the guys themselves respect or self-love. I feel the same way about people getting drunk; what's the point of intoxicating yourself to that extent? Exactly what do you gain from it? Heavy head, loss of senses... Isn't that just plain suffering? In addition, I think it's ugly to get drunk because it is a show of a lack of respect for oneself. For one's dignity.

Anyway! Planning of trip in progress. :)

Now I have three gatherings on the 31st. One feels like an obligation (HHK). I really wouldn't mind attending it, but dilemma dilemma! The next one (received a call this morning when I was still sleeping) I really want to attend, and the other (JC class) I would love to because I haven't seen those people in a long time. Time to prioritise! Hate it when everything clashes. :( But I guess it's a festive date so everyone would have planned parties for it. :/ Maybe I should attend a little of all. But I predict it will be a great hassle to get from one place to another on that day because everywhere will be filled with throngs of people celebrating.

Maybe I should just, let things be. I don't know anymore. I'm just tired, drained. Confused. Don't know what to think, don't know what to feel, or how to look at the future. The past two weeks or so have been more than I could stomach. I would never want to relive them.

You taught me to love. You made me ashamed of the way I give others, because all this time I've been giving, I haven't really been giving. But you taught me what it means to give selflessly and from the heart. So that is the true meaning of friends. Superficial friends will give each other when they can, but close friends will find ways to to things for each other even when they're facing constraints or difficulties in doing so. :)

Recently I've discovered the joys of sending/receiving personal emails. Haha. I wonder why. Okay, not that recently. Hmm. Anyway, I think it's just so nice to type personal stuff to friends over email and receive replies. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I think it's akin to writing and receiving snail mails. Haha. Back to basics. Somehow it feels more personal and sincere than talking on MSN, etc. Because there is that added touch of closeness I don't really know how to describe.

I just hate the prospect of being scrutinised/questioned. I hate it when people assume things and assume everything's the way they want it to be. Stop it already, because it's more annoying than anything.

Posted at 9:47 PM

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Since 14 Dec 08